PLEASE HELP ME!!! Smart people come inside! *cries* - Eternal Allegiance

Beautiful Mistake · 04-19-2002, 01:58 PM

Alright, I have to do a 24 page term paper and it's due next week. But first I need a thesis statement... and I don't have one (well I have one, but the teacher is being mean to me and he doesn't like my thesis statement)

The establishment of child labor laws prevented the exploitation of children in the 20th century

Well. I think that's a really good thesis statement (it's so much better than the previous ones) Except, he said "That's really good. Except you need something more..." It seems to be rather vague and lacking something.

I personally don't know how to write a thesis statement. It has to have a "So what?" and a PURPOSE. Well I really don't have a purpose except to finish this baby and get an A or something. But.. I need a thesis statement.

Can anyone come up with one for me? Please? Because I've tried so bad and it's just not meeting his requirements.

The topic is about child labor/child labor laws.

Help.

Stone Cold · 04-19-2002, 02:31 PM

Thanks to labor laws implemented to protect children, exploitation of children has been dimineshed in the 20th century.

Kattie · 04-19-2002, 04:18 PM

I always liked the three points method. For example, Establishment of child labor laws prevented the exploitation of children by setting working age limits, hours a minor can work, and blah blah another point. Then in the essay expand on those three points. With each point make them kinda general so you can expand on them, tell the history of child labor and then tell how the reforms ended the exploitation. whenever i use this method i make an outline of what i want to say in the paragraphs before i write it. This way i can see if my points will work or not.

Beautiful Mistake · 04-19-2002, 04:21 PM

Hey thanks Mike, Kat.

midnightman · 04-19-2002, 08:31 PM

Yeah, I suggest Kat's five paragraph method, but don't forget that you can have as many points as you need, just be sure you can expand each "point" into an entire paragraph.

Also, make sure you have intros and concluding sentences relating the paragraph back to the thesis...I'm sure you know that already though. In your commentary tell how the facts and figures you are talking about support and prove your thesis statement...

This may be of no help though, I am but a mere high school student.

midnightman · 04-19-2002, 08:37 PM

ALSO: you might want to look for more than just laws. I was thinking about the immense affluence after World War II in the US that lead to mass media and a separate youth culture which didn't leave time for them to be slaving is sweatshops...also maybe how the majority of jobs starting in the 1970s where more technology-based than labor-based...

OK, I'm done.

PinkLady · 04-19-2002, 09:08 PM

On a little side note, and coming from an English major, your thesis doesn't have to be just ONE sentence. A thesis can appear through the "introduction" or even throughout the paper (although you wouldn't want to do that for this particular paper because it seems to be research). Your teacher is right to say that what you have now is vague--it's a good start but sooo broad that I wouldn't know what the hell you were going to be talking about. What I wonder though, is why she didn't help you start to shape this thesis? Also, what level class is this? College? Upper or lower level (the difference between a 100 and 200 class)? Sometimes teachers at that level see a paper that is structured as I Intro II Body III Body IV Body V conclusion somewhat not mature enough--you know what I'm saying? But that could just be coming from me--English classes run themselves differently than say, a history class.

Anyways, I probably didn't help anything but I just wanted to tell you that you don't have to limit yourself to one sentence! (unless of course that is what your teacher told you

)

Beautiful Mistake · 04-20-2002, 06:55 AM

Hey thanks for helping me come up with a better thesis statement. I'm coming up with really good ones.

I think I'm taking a college course class. All I know is I'm in IB and it stresses me out a lot and I don't have a life outside school anymore.