Pinkie

I found out today I have this to do for tommorow and well I HAVE to give my teacher a good one - because I don't know him and he is giving me my grade soon. Look for comma mistakes too, I do them ALL the time - can't figure the rules out really. So here goes:

The Homeless of London has for a longer time been visible for the tourist, especially the group that keep close to the big theatres on the south side of the river of Thames, and that sleeps in cardboard boxes close to Waterloo Station. The youngsters constitute an unusual group among the e.g. 75.000 homeless, who is said to be located in Great London alone. The Sunday Times spoke to three of them, who for this period of time sleeps in the entrance to a shoe store in the distinguished street the Strand: Jeff was just arrived after being laid off from his job in North England and immediate wanted to attempt to get a new. Dave got thrown out (was gotten?) by his mother, took (had taken?) the first boat to Ireland and had definitely no plans of returning back. Sharon, 15, didn’t want to be photographed for the newspaper. She was on escape from the police because her boyfriend and she had committed a robbery in a radio store.

Thanks in advance!

Nanny

The Homeless of London has, for a longer time, been visible for the tourist, especially the group that keep close to the big theatres on the south side of Themsen, and that sleeps in cardboard boxes close to Waterloo Station. The youngsters constitute an unusual group among the estimated 75.000 homeless, who are said to be located in Great London alone. The Sunday Times spoke to three of them who, for this period of time, sleep in the entrance to a shoe store in the distinguished street the Strand: Jeff had just arrived after being laid off from his job in North England and immediately wanted to attempt to get a new. Dave was thrown out by his mother and took the first boat to Ireland. He had definitely no plans of returning back. Sharon, 15, didn’t want to be photographed for the newspaper. She was on escape from the police because her boyfriend and she had committed a robbery in a radio store.


Okay, I made some changes... don't know if I should have. The red part, I'm not quite sure what you were trying to say, so I left it.

Pinkie

Thanks - thats what I wanted.

In the red part I want to say something about: He wanted to try to get a new job immediately. <-- Is that better?

Nanny

and immediately attempted to get another job.

Pinkie

Hey thaanks Helped me a lot. I HAVE to impress him !

ManSlippers

The homeless of London have been visible to tourists for quite some time, especially the groups that reside near the big theatres on the south side of the Thames river as well as those who sleep in cardboard boxes near the Waterloo Station. The most unusual group among the 75,000 homeless, are the young, who are said to be located in Great London. The Sunday Times spoke with three of them, who for this period of time, sleep in the entrance to a shoe store along the distinguished street the Strand. Jeff had just arrived after being laid off from his job in North England and had immediately attempted to seek employment. Dave was thrown out by his mother, took the first boat to Ireland with no plans of returning back. Sharon, 15, didn’t want to be photographed for the newspaper, under the circumstance that she was evading police after she and her boyfriend had committed a robbery in an electronics store.

I kind of re-wrote it but, choose as you wish lol

Pinkie

Thanks to both of you. Helped me a lot, now I will go change it the way it feels best

I appriciate it.

Nanny

Oh... one thing I didn't notice before "the River of Thames" or "Thames River" is properly said "the River Thames" by English standards.

ManSlippers

Wow, I always got counted off for that in English, so not in U.S. english standards.

Pinkie

Thanks SO MUCH for this It was good help, and I need help again - here its a review of the movie Smoke (Paul Auster) but only in 200 words: If anyone would just take a small look I appriciate it.

The story evolves around the Writer Paul Benjamin, who lost his wife and therefore gave up writing. He is the main character of this movie.
First we meet Thomas Jefferson Cole that calls himself Rashid, who saves Paul from being run over. Thomas is on the run from a couple of criminal kids from which he took some money so now he hides in Paul’s apartment. He also just found his dad (Cyrus), who bought a gas station. Thomas gets a job here, to get to know his father.
We also meet Auggie, a storeowner with a passion for taking photographs. Auggie helped Paul with his sorrow of losing his wife, and they become close. Thomas then gets a job at the store Auggie has, and accidental ruins his illegal cigars. Thomas hands the money to Auggie, seeing as it was Thomas who made the mistake. In the meantime Auggie has some trouble with a former lover (Ruby), she tells him that she had his daughter, and even though it turns out not to be his, he gives her the money. In the end Auggie tells the story about how he got his camera.