PapRoach123

But in that case it is something beyond your control. Your relatives are most probably just feeling bad for you that you would love to have a baby but may not be able to. If you really want it though, you can make adoption possible. But it depends on how much you want that baby.


That's true, yeah. But like I said earlier, you don't need to take moral reasoning into the matter. The family line is often 'damaged' anyways. Guy marries girl, they have kids, they divorce, guy remarries, girl remarries, they all have kids again, etc. The blood of the family doesn't remain pure here either. You are the product of two families. Whether you have a child with a girl you love or not doesn't really make a difference in that.

So all you really need is a female to carry your baby. I don't know the English word for it, but there are some women who do that for money and such. If you have two kids that way (one of you and one of your potential partner), you'll have a principle that is on the same level as the guy that remarried and had kids again.


Yeah same here.


Such wise words. lol


A. I know that, dear.

B. Indeed. I was merely hooking in on Swany's words there.

Nanny

The english word is surrogate.

And I do realize the options for it. I've spent a lot of time considering my options. I intend to find the right person to settle down with and not ever get divorced. As you've said before, people don't work hard enough at their marriages, and I don't intend to be one of the ones to just throw it by the wayside. With that said, any children I intend to have, I intend to have with the person I love, and if that happens to be a man, it's just unfortunate that the child or children can not be a product of both of us. Obviously, I'm not going to forget about having children because of it, but as I said, it's unfortunate.

The closest solution I did come up with was using my partner's sister (if he had one) as my surrogate and vice versa in order to get the both families' genes in there.

But, I've been keen on the idea of adopting from a third world country from a young age, so I intend to do that (if they allow it by that time) anyways. A friend of mine once told me about her intentions of doing that because she felt it was ridiculous to bring another child into the world when there are so many already alive and on the verge of death because they don't have the luxuries (food, shelter, clothing) that we can provide.


That same friend and I were having another discussion about how us humans are actually a virus, for the same reasons you've mentioned there. She was a very bright girl. Probably still is, too. LOL.

ForeverInLoveWithJus

Thats true Stinger, I guess if it doesnt happen, I will be happy with my life. I am happy and I guess thats the main thing.

PapRoach123

That is what I used to say, and lived by. But then I learned a new lesson. Marriage or relationship alike, you can fight to make something out of it and make it real and make it an effort and not give up on it so easily like everybody else seems to do as much as you want, but if your partner does not have the same ideals about it than you do, you'll lose your influence on where the situation is headed fast. What if at first your partner shares your ideals (which is rare to begin with in this day and age) and then as time goes by begins to change opinion? But remembering the promise you made to yourself and your partner, you're fighting for something that partner wants to get rid of. What follows is an emotional draining battle with yourself and your partner, which isn't good for your health.

To stay on this tangent for a moment, I made the mistake of concentrating on the intention of finding the right person and planning to settle down with this person and make sure that the relationship will work. Don't make the same mistake, man. It takes two to tango. It's easy enough to start a dance together, but then you'll get to the part where you have to finish it.

The only way to execute pre-made plans is when you concentrate soley on your own dance. You can't really plan something if you have to rely on someone else to do it with. Certainly not with something like starting a family.

Finding the right person to dance with is like looking for a needle in a haystack. If you live your life and dance around to the beat of your own music, you are more likely to encounter the right person. But first you'll have to let go of your future plans and your future options you've been thinking about, and proceed to cross that bridge when you get there.

The general saying is that things never go the way you want them to go, and so going in with a blank mind brings you less disappointment and in return, a longer lasting happiness.


Theoretically smart, but the enourmous complications such brings related to moral issues and the questioning presence of the word 'using' in your phrase make it virtually impossible to go through with. Big chance the sister will want to keep the baby. I would.


Yes indeed, though I can imagine people will feel they want a child of their own genes.

Very good option nonetheless, but cross the bridge when you get to it. There is so much more to life than having babies. Before you hand life to someone else, it is smart to first embrace your own.


I like your friend already.


Yes. I wouldn't worry about it. You're still young, you're happy right now, who knows maybe in a bunch of years technology will have created an opening even for you. You never know. The same thing I said to Swany I say to you too. Cross the bridge when you get there. For now you can put the worry on hold and enjoy your life the way it is now to the fullest of it's potential. There are still so many happy things you can experience before doing the house tree pet, michael peter fred thing. It's not a neccessity.

ForeverInLoveWithJus

Thanks Stinger, You make so much sense. You are right. There is enough time for that. I guess the way I think right now is if it happens, I am really happy but I guess right now, time is here to enjoy what I have and appreciate how lucky I am.

FantaOrSprite

I believe surrogacy for money is illegal in the US??? Or did I totally just make that up..hm.

Starshine

No, I think its adoption for money. Like, you cant buy a baby from someone. I believe you can pay for a surrogate though, you can pay them for their 'troubles' or what have you. I could be wrong though.