PapRoach123

I certainly had, and still have. They are not only my parents, but they are my friends. I socialize with them just the same as I do with other friends. They are great people and I have an infinitely strong bond with them. There is nothing that can break us up. Absolutely nothing.

In a distant past there was a girlfriend who didn't seem to like it very much. She had no bond with her parents. Hated her mother, had no connection with her father. She even went as far as calling me a mama's boy. She never had a loving mother. She had no clue. I was a fool to think I could make her happy with a taste of what she had missed all those years. It's sad how the world works sometimes.

I hope you have a strong bond with your parents too, Lea. And if for some reason you don't, then go ahead and work on creating one. In the end, they are the only people you can always count on no matter what happens. You'll never get any better friends.

ForeverInLoveWithJus

Well I am glad I have moved out, living with my mother = pure hell. That is what its like to live with a selfish alcoholic. I hated her and of course still do.

PapRoach123

Hmm that sounds too familiar. *has flashback*

Want a little tip from a seasoned player? The hatred you have for your mother is generated by the same gene that makes her the reason why you hate her. Remember that.

Xenna

*gets hit by flashandpresentbacks*
Oh and btw, as much as i tried to understand your sentence in a lot of ways, it does not make any sense to me, or maybe it just doesn't work for me that way.


As to the decisions, i was raised but i wasn't really told that, blah, you can do what you want and have what you want, and learn from your own mistakes. I mean i've been told stuff, they've let me know their standards and what i could do and what i couldn't. And such things as making my own decision, it was just so obvious for my family, that i dont even remember talking about it with my parents.

You can bring up your kid as whatever you like until you give him the ability to choose when the time is right.

PapRoach123

Lemme try to explain. You inherit the genes of your parents. In essence you are capable of the same things your parents are. Even the bad things. To paraphrase the late Curt Kobain, the choice is yours. But contrary to popular belief, you don't make that choice consciously, you make it consciously AND subconsciously.

That is how a person who claims to never become like their parents might turn out that way anyways without even realizing it. Allowing yourself to be consumed by hatred in any shape or form opens the gate to that particular outcome.

Only if you are able to forgive your parents with body and soul for who they are and what they have done (or still do), then you have truly proven to be different from them.

ForeverInLoveWithJus

I tried to post this a minute ago and it didnt work. Nevermind lol.

Sorry about what I said a few posts ago, It maybe came across a bit strong.

Xenna

Okay, i see. But i mean, ya can't blame me for becoming a psycho for what i've seen, heard and done, ya know. As long as i'm still living with her, i'm sure as hell won't be able to forgive. After i move out, i believe it'll be a lot easier to forgive even without getting an apology. But we'll just wait and see.

PapRoach123

Yeah. There'll always be someone who's gonna blame you regardless, but that's cause they can't see into your situation. It'll definitely be easier once you're on your own.

Also because generally speaking, being around your parents (or anybody for that matter) too much is never a good thing. There are always differences, and they're bound to clash at some point if you don't watch it.

In your case that factor can be a supplement to an already near impossible situation to deal with. What will also make it a bit easier when you're out the door is that once you're ready to forgive, you don't have do to it in her face. As long as you do it in your heart. She doesn't even have to know. But that notion is more meant for your own protection, because some parents tend to exploit their children whenever they see an oppertunity.


Uhuh. Well as long as you know what I mean. lol

dids

Well, I was raised by extremely tolerant and open parents. They forced absolutely nothing on me.

HOWEVER, I really wish my momma would like the smell of fish more.. because she doesn't, she never made it and as a result today I can't stand it. I eat just about everything there is, but because I never was able to get used to that taste, I still do not like it. My brother doesn't either. When my little sister was born, she went to Kindergarden in Italy and they gave her lunch there, of course fish included. She's the only one (along with my dad) who LOVES it!! Hehe..

MoonBerry

That's really interesting Stinger, but I don't think that could work with how I feel about my mother, there's been so much done/said for soo many years I can write a book about it all, she's done alot of damage, alot. I don't see forgiveness in sight.

I think it depends on how extreme things were with a parent to be able to forgive just like that. I always hear it's good to forgive(good for yourself) but the thought of it just doesn't seem possible, I don't know. I'm not even living with or near her for more that 8 years now, havn't seen her since either.