 Britney Lipsyncs article | |
It seems that the internet news services were all buzzing with the latest piece of Britney Spears gossip. According to The Sun Newspaper Online Britney had actually – are you sitting down? – lip-synched her entire set at Wembley Arena.
I was shocked. I read on…
It seemed that the 12,000 or so rabid fans that bought tickets for the show were actually expecting her to sing, the poor fools.
Stunned, I was. Flabbergasted.
I mean, I couldn’t believe that this was actually news. Isn’t there a war going on? Aren’t bombs going off right around election time? Isn’t Jennifer Aniston out of a job? And you people are actually wasting breath on this topic? What’s next, a spirited discussion on the legitimacy of her boobs?
Let me get this straight – 12,000 people went to a Britney Spears concert to hear her sing? No, you went because you’re hoping for a wardrobe malfunction just as badly as I am. (Nasty lil’ thing, ain’t she?)
We’ve become a society where we not only enjoy being lied to, we pretty much expect it. And if anything happens to somehow send that façade crashing down, we’re ready to go to litigation in order to get our pain and suffering food stamps.
Case in point: A group of fans actually tried to bring a class action suit against the lead singer of Creed because he sounded bad during a concert. (Apparently no one noticed that he always sounds bad.) Maybe he should have lip-synched, but I digress…
So, just in case any of you are still either in the dark or in denial, here’s a quick test that you can use at the next concert you attend. If the performer is jumping around on stage like they’re in a Tae-Bo infomercial and yet they never miss a single note, they are synching their ass off. In other words, if it sounds just like the CD is playing, it is.
I blame MTV.
Music used to be something you listened to, now it’s something you watch. So why should anyone be surprised when an artist resorts to using canned music and vocal tracks so that they can adequately recreate their latest million dollar plus video for you? (Kinda tough to dance and sing, kids. Try it sometime.)
So what’s the problem here? In the immortal words of Gladiator, “Are you not entertained?”
In the case of Britney Spears, of course you are. You got exactly what you paid for: A hot little slice of ex-mouseketeer ass smothered in raunch dressing with stilettos a la mode for dessert. No cherry on top, though – she lost that a long time ago. (Damn you, Justin Timberlake. Damn you to hell!)
But just in case you’re still aching for the real thing when it comes to live vocals, don’t watch MTV, watch American Idol.
Hey, THOSE kids can sing!
That’s my two cents, now gimme my change. | 
