Barely Naked Lady
An expectant Gwyneth Paltrow wins the booby prize at the ShoWest Awards in Las Vegas. She loses all support in a revealing green, gold n' taupe layered chiffon Stella McCartney slip dress. There's nothing wrong with a view of the top, girl, but next time, think underwire. Maternity cleavage should start at your chest, not your navel.
Rubber Maid
Tyra Banks quenches our thirst at the America's Next Top Model finale party. She pours herself into an orange Lycra dress and adorns with gold and silver chains. Inquiring minds want to know how long it took her to squeeze into this wet suit...and if she needs any help getting out.
By the Book
Nicole Kidman moonlights as a librarian at the New York premiere of Dogville. You can cross-reference this look under "ol' Victorian wear"--shapeless charcoal wool jersey Lanvin sheath, velvet ribbons at the neck and silver and gold crystal cuffs. She continues to catalog the prudish look with a ribbon-wrapped bun and black pumps. Strangely, even in her prim trim, we'd be happy to make a drop in her book return.
Dragon Lady
Kung fu fightin' fox Daryl Hannah slays us at the Genesis Awards in Los Angeles. She loses some Shaolin style points for those slumping shoulders, but she's still lethal in this elegant black satin-trimmed silk cocktail frock with sexy ankle-strap black heels. Even without her kinky Kill Bill eye patch, Daryl has fists of fashion fury. We raise our swords to you, Elle Driver!
Bulge Battlin'
Big Apple babes Kristin Davis, Cynthia Nixon and Sarah Jessica Parker blow up at the Sex and the City Behind the Scenes presentation in New York. Nixon fares okay in an emerald silk frock with green heels. But her metro mates squeeze into dumpy wool tweeds: Davis in a Chanel suit, Parker in a Chanel fringed sheath, peekaboo bra and bronze gladiator Guccis. We've heard every girl has a "fat outfit," but isn't it supposed to make ya look slimmer?
Groupie Therapy
Kid Rock tames his trashy ways for his new babeacious blonde accessory Jaime Pressly at the New York Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame. With his pressed white western shirt, black leather jacket and maroon cords, it looks like he even did a load of laundry. Pressly steps into ex-gal-pal Pam Anderson's dainty footsteps with a white tank, denim jacket, low-slung pink silk skirt and gladiator heels. Since she can't compete with Miss P's floatation devices, she shows off her sharp hipbones instead. Nice try--new girl, but no fuzzy dice.
Father Knows Vest
Rolling Stone Keith Richards struts his satisfaction with adorable daughter Theodora at the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame. Papa swaggers by in his uniform headgear, silk sash, pinstripe jacket and vest and gray suede sneaks. Young'un Theodora lends a sexy steadying shoulder in a black silk frock, shark's-tooth necklace, Isabella Fiore purse and gray fedora hat. Hey, it's only rock 'n' roll, but we like it!
Funny Face
Kiefer Sutherland sings the blues at the Los Angeles premiere of Taking Lives. His frayed 'n' faded flare denims, sky blue cotton button-down and boxy navy pinstripe sports coat all serve to bring out his own beautiful baby blues. But we're not wild about the orangey face powder. A word of caution, Kief: Remember what all that heavy pancake makeup did to Ben Affleck's acting. Can you say flop?
Fashion Police: week of 3/31/04 
If they think Sarah Jessica Parker looks fat then I must be a freakin heifer. Whatever.![[ SARAH ]'s Avatar](http://www.eternal-allegiance.com/customavatars/avatar61411_1.gif){kind=avatar}
