 Suggested baby gifts for Britney & Kevin | |
When Britney Spears and husband Kevin Federline announced they were expecting a bundle of something other than cash, we started wondering: What do you give a pregnant multimillionaire pop singer who has everything? (Even her own television show, based on her own videotapes of her courtship with her husband.)
Oh, sure, we could give Brit a sterling-silver rattle from Tiffany & Co., but she could just unhook one from her navel, so that seems like a waste of money and effort. And we know the infant will be better dressed than Paris Hilton’s dog Tinkerbell, so Baby Phat clothes are out. After racking our brains for weeks, we’ve settled on the list of gifts – some fictional and some real – we’re sure will be useful to the diva and her husband.
Welcome to our baby shower for Britney Spears, designed to coincide with the start of her television show this week. As gifts, may we suggest:
Ball and chain: While we want to have faith that Britney’s love will be devoted to her forever, we are just a little fretful over his past. Federline left his pregnant girlfriend, Shar Jackson, to be with Britney, so we thought she might like a 14-carat ankle bracelet with a GPS tracking device to help keep tabs on her man.
Run of the Mouse House: If she doesn’t have one already, Britney could use a lifetime pass to Disney’s Magic Kingdom so she can share her glory days as a Mouseketeer with her young’un.
Reading material from Madonna: What better tales to share with her tot each night than anything penned by her former kissing partner? Well, maybe not anything. Might want to skip that book about sex and go straight to Madonna’s children books: “The Adventures of Abdi,” “Yakov and the Seven Thieves,” “Lotsa de Casha,” “Mr. Peabody’s Apples” and “The English Roses.”
Tuition and a red string: Because you can’t get enough of Madonna’s influence, we recommend a paid-up scholarship to her Manhattan kabbalah school.
Keeping it together: All pop diva mothers – and their babies – need plenty of diaper pins to prevent any wardrobe malfunctions.
Onesies and a pair of safety scissors: Hey, if momma’s got a girl, Britney will want to pass down her fashion sense. (Does anybody know where we can get a mini ab-roller?) If it’s a boy, he’ll want to emulate his dad by wearing baby “wife-beater” tank tops.
Encouraging baby books: After spending some time in the parenting aisles of bookstores, we found the perfect guide for the new mom: “How to Behave So Your Children Will Too!” by Sal Severe ($23.95, Penguin Putnam Books).
Keeping in touch with his roots: Once baby Federline is old enough to work the DVD player, he or she can watch Mommy and Daddy’s reality show “Britney and Kevin: Chaotic.” We’re not sure what the reaction will be, but maybe also watching DVDs of “Newlyweds” and “Growing Up Gotti” will help the child feel better about his or her family.
The perfect diaper cover: With Britney’s love of message T-shirts, what could be more perfect than “Oops I Did It Again”?
Credit: Delaware Online | 
