Hi guys. Over the past few months, I've felt that my love & support for Britney, my status as a fan has been highly challenged. Before Brit went on her 6-month hiatus, I was feeling great and I loved her more than anything. But now with her being gone and all that's happened, those feelings have changed. This piece here is to express how I now feel about Britney and what the future may hold. This will be rather long, so bear with me.
Britney Jean Spears. What do I think of when I hear that name? I think of a beautiful, talented, kind, generous, caring, loving, down-to-earth, funny, determined, and independent 21-year-old woman from Kentwood, Louisiana. The same woman I've been loving and supporting for 12 years now - from the beginning (1992) until now (2003). When
...Baby One More Time was released 5 years ago, I knew that Brit was destined for greatness, she was gonna be the Next Big Thing in music. She had all you could ever want - talent, beauty, determination, personality - you name it, Britney had it. Britney is one of those truly gifted musicians that only come along once in a great while, there aren't many out there today like her. Since Day 1, I've been there giving her all of my love & support.
Throughout the 5 years that Britney has been in the business, she's had her share of up's and down's, good times and bad times, so on and so forth. In those times, I've been able to see past those mistakes and mishaps that she's made and the challenges that she's faced. We're all gonna make mistakes in life, nobody's perfect. That holds true not only for normal, everyday people, but for celebrities as well. We may not always say or do the right thing or make the best decisions, but that's to be expected. As for celebrities, they are just like the rest of us - they're human and they're not perfect. In Britney's case, she's not Little Ms. Perfect, nor the picture perfect princess that some people want her to be. Too many people are placing (and have placed) Brit on a pedestal and are expecting her to be sugar, spice, and everything nice, which is wrong no matter the situation. They expect her to do and do that, wear this and that, say this and that, and then whenever she steps out of line or doesn't live up to people's expectations, she's ridiculed for it. There are 3 kinds of people (in our case, fans) when it comes to Britney - the people who see her as nothing more than a huge, famous star and fail to see her as being a normal person, the people who see her as a huge, famous star and also as being normal, and the people who see her as a normal person and not a huge, famous star. This is where I think some fans have a fault, they only see Britney as a huge star with fame and money and refuse to see her as a normal woman. As for me, I see her as a normal, everyday person and don't think of her as a celebrity who has fame and wealth.
Fast forward to today...
Britney has been out of the spotlight for 6+ months, working on and recording her highly anticipated 4th album. Also in that time, the media & press have been non-stop with their stories and photos of Brit out 'n' about with her friends & family, Rob, and others while the tabloids have continued printing up false rumors about Britney. They've managed to get under some fans' skin and cause those fans to give up and turn their backs on her. On the other hand, a lot of fans have been able to blow off all the stories, rumors, and such to show their loyalty to Britney as fans who'll be there with her no matter what anyone else says. I'm one of those fans that's been very affected by the media & press' fascination w/ Britney and her day-to-day life. Sure, the photos and the videos that the paparazzi capture of Britney upsets me, but nothing as of late has affected me more than the highly disputed and much talked about issue of whether she smokes or not.
There have been endless photos of Britney out and about w/ friends, family, and others. In some of those photos however, there's been one or two that the photographer have taken in which Britney is seen with (or supposedly seen with in some cases) a cigarette in her hand or mouth. A lot of those have turned up as being edited or fake, but lately, the evidence shown in photos like the ones below seem to say otherwise -
I've had good friends of mine who've done their best to convince me that some of these more recent ones are either fake and that, if Britney does smoke, she doesn't do it 24/7. For me, I'm not that easily convinced. I still have that question of
What if? lingering in the back of my mind everytime photos like these surface. Although, now with these new photos, I no longer ask What if?, but
Why? Why does Britney smoke? Why would she make the decision to start smoking? She knows the consequences of her actions and how it will affect her - seeing how her Aunt Sandra has had to deal with cancer. I know it's her life and her decision, but it does concern me as a fan. I don't want to see Britney hurt herself or others hurting her. Seeing Britney doing this affects me very much, because I've been pressured to smoke and I've seen what smoking can do to a person. My birth mother abused me all time and what was one of the reasons behind it? Smoking. She would either abuse because she wanted to, she was upset, or she was under the influence of drugs, smoking, or drinking or all three. I'm not saying this will happen to Britney, I just wanted to tie an experience from my own life to this piece.
Knowing that someone close to you (family, friends, relatives) or someone that you care about very much (a close/best friend, a favorite music, tv, or movie star) does something like smoking, drugs, or whatever affects you in one way or another. To some, it hurts more to those closer to that person than it does to others who don't know them, but who feel they share a bond with that person. Why I feel this way about Britney is because of the way I grew up, I was faced with these dangers and I knew what they could do to me. That's why now that I'm older, I don't care for drinking, smoking, drugs, and whatever else.
In ending, I've often said to myself and to my friends that Britney will be alright in the end. But, with things being the way they are, I've often ended up doubting my own words. I've also commented on how much happier I'll be when Brit comes back. That brings me to the present moment, here and now, with my current status as a fan of Britney's. I've come this far with Britney and I don't want to throw 12 years of love & support away just because of this one decision that she made. I'm hoping for the best to come from all of this, but who's to say. As for what the future of my being a fan of Britney's will hold, I don't know.
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