 Things I Learned At The Movies... | |
>> >>>Subject: Funny!
>> >>>
>> >>>Things I Learned at the Movies
>> >>>>
>> >>>> If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to be a
>> >>>> world-famous expert on nuclear fission, dinosaurs,
>> >>>> hieroglyphics, or anything else, at the age of 22.
>> >>>>
>> >>>> Large, loft apartments in New York City are
>> >>>> plentiful and affordable, even if the tenants are
>> >>>> unemployed.
>> >>>>
>> >>>> One of a pair of identical twins is evil.
>> >>>>
>> >>>> Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry
>> >>>> about which wire to cut. You will always choose the
>> >>>> right one.
>> >>>>
>> >>>> It doesn't matter if you are greatly outnumbered in
>> >>>> a fight involving martial arts. Your enemies will
>> >>>> wait patiently to attack you one by one...dancing
>> >>>> around in a threatening manner until you have
>> >>>> dispatched their predecessors.
>> >>>>
>> >>>> When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything
>> >>>> in your bedroom will still be clearly visible but
>> >>>> slightly blue.
>> >>>>
>> >>>> During all crime investigations, it is necessary to
>> >>>> visit a strip club at least once.
>> >>>>
>> >>>> All beds have special L-shaped covers that reach up
>> >>>> to the armpits of a woman but only to the waist of
>> >>>> the man lying beside her.
>> >>>>
>> >>>> All grocery shopping bags contain at least one
>> >>>> French bread and one bunch of carrots with leafy
>> >>>> tops.
>> >>>>
>> >>>> It's easy to land a plane, providing there is
>> >>>> someone in the control tower to talk you down.
>> >>>>
>> >>>> If you are beautiful, your makeup never rubs off,
>> >>>> even while scuba-diving or fighting aliens. However
>> >>>> if you are overweight, your mascara will run and
>> >>>> your lipstick will smear.
>> >>>>
>> >>>> The ventilation system of any building is the
>> >>>> perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of
>> >>>> looking for you in there, and you can travel to any
>> >>>> other part of the building without difficulty.
>> >>>>
>> >>>> You're very likely to survive any battle in any war
>> >>>> unless you make the mistake of showing someone a
>> >>>> picture of your sweetheart back home.
>> >>>>
>> >>>> Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German
>> >>>> officer, it is not necessary to speak the language.
>> >>>> A German accent will do.
>> >>>>
>> >>>> A man will show no pain while taking the most
>> >>>> horrific beating, but will wince when a woman tries
>> >>>> to clean his wounds.
>> >>>>
>> >>>> If staying in a haunted house, women must
>> >>>> investigate any strange noises in their most
>> >>>> diaphanous underwear, which is what they happened to
>> >>>> be wearing when the car broke down.
>> >>>>
>> >>>> If someone says "I'll be right back," they won't.
>> >>>>
>> >>>> Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it
>> >>>> is necessary to turn the steering wheel from time to
>> >>>> time.
>> >>>>
>> >>>> All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices
>> >>>> with large red readouts so you know exactly when
>> >>>> they're going to go off.
>> >>>>
>> >>>> A police detective can only solve a case after he
>> >>>> has been suspended from duty.
>> >>>>
>> >>>> If you decide to start dancing in the street,
>> >>>> everyone around you will be able to mirror all the
>> >>>> steps you come up with, and hear the music in your
>> >>>> head.
>> >>>>
>> >>>> When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak
>> >>>> English to each other. | 
