Smackdown Results July 31st:
Kurt Angle's music plays, as the new WWE champion makes his way to the ring.
With mic in hand, he thanks the audience for their wobderful reception. He says there's no doubt that he's going to get emotional tonight. He says that winning the title for the fourth time is the definitive moment in his career. He wasn't sure he would ever get this opportunity again since he broke his neck Before Wrestle Mania, but here is alive and kicking! He talks about when he was in rehab and training, all he could think about was being the best in the ring, and how much of an honor it is to stand out in front of the audience.
Suddenly Brock Lesnar's music hits as he makes his way to the ring with determination. He takes the microphone. Brock apologises for interupting Kurt, and acknowledges that he beat him at the last ppv.
But he also reminds Angle how much he knows him, and how much he knows how much winning the title means to Kurt. But Kurt also knows how much the title means to Brock. He then challenges Kurt in a rematch for the title.
Kurt says that there's a big responsibility in becoming champion, and there are many athletes in the locker room for deserve a shot. Kurt hesitates for a moment, but then accepts Brock's challenge.
Vince McMahon's music hits, he makes his way to the ring. Vince Commends Kurt Angle's generous offer to compete once again with Lesnar for the title. And how much he's impressed by his gracious offer.
Vince says that earlier this afternoon Angle begged him not to book a rematch with Lesnar. Vince then questions Kurt Angle's loyalty, telling the audience and Lesnar that he would sell everyone down the river. Vince says that a rematch is out of the question, he tells Brock that he has to earn his title shot.
So instead he announces that Lesnar and Angle will team up against two opponents of Vince's choosing, where Lesnar and Angle's friendship will be tested tonight.
Rey Mysterio w/ Billy Kidman vs. Shelton Benjamin w/ Charlie Haas
Benjamin goes to work right away, but Mysterio fights back giving him some of his own medicine. He goes for a 619 right off the bat, but Benjamin counters. Charlie Haas gets involved allowing Benjamin to ram Rey's shoulder into the ring post. Benjamin then proceeds to work on Rey's shoulder, wrenching back on is opponent, followed by shoulder breaker, and quick cover of two. He goes back to an arm bar, but Mysterio counters tossing Benjamin into the ring post. Mysterio hits a standing side kick, a quick cover, almost a two count. He then hits a power bomb, a quick cover, two count. Benjamin catches a boot by Mysterio, and hits a face buster. 1-2, still no 3.
Benjamin applies an interesting submission hold applying pressure to the neck and back. Once released, Rey makes his way to the ropes. Charlie Haas tries to get involved, but is thwarted by Billy Kidman. Mysterio creates enough momentum to hit the 619, he attemps the flying leg scissors, Bejamin tries to counter but is unsuccessful as Mysterio turns it into a victory roll for the three count.
Jamie Noble is shown backastage getting ready for his night with Torrie Wilson. Noble is waiting in the room in his underwear in a cowboy hat. There's a knock at the door, it's Torrie. He tells Torrie not to worry about his attire, because he's just getting comfortable.
He tells Torrie that he has a big night planned for the both of them, with chocolates, fruit, champagne, and variety of sex toys. He says he's ready to play cowboy and Indians. Torrie says she's about to be sick, as she runs off.
Chris Benoit vs. Doink The Clown
Chris Benoit makes his way to the ring. Rhyno's face shows up on the Titan Tron. Rhyno says that Benoit brought everything on himself, because he always treated Rhyno like a joke.
He then says that he has a little warm up partner for Chris Benoit, as Doink the Clown makes his way to the ring.
Benoit immediately goes to work on Doink, clothesline. Side Suplex. Vicious chops to the chest. Taking out all of his aggression for Rhyno on Doink the Clown. Doink hits an elbow to the face, as he makes his way to the top but is unsucessful as Benoit hits a back superplex off the top.
Benoit then hits a headbutt from the top rope, followed by The Crippler Crossface submission to gain the victory.
After the match, Benoit then demands that Rhyno come out. Rhyno says that "sometimes in life you just don't get what you want, translation 'm not coming out there." He says bye bye to Chris, calling him a joke.
Backstage, Jamie Noble is waiting on the bed, he tells Torrie. "Hey come on out here I've got The bed all warmed up for ya." Torrie makes her way over, but then they hear a knock at the door. It's Nidia, Jamie asks why she's here. Nidia says that tonight it's not about Torrie and Jamie, it's all about Nidia and Jamie, as she removes her coat, revealng a skimpy outfit. She then pushes Jamie to the bed as she proceeds to ravish him.
Jamie tells Torrie not to go anywhere because she's next.
Backstage Kurt Angle and Brock Lesnar
Brock questions if Angle met with Vince Mcmahon earlier. Kurt said that there was no funny business going on, and reminded Brock of how much they (Angle And Lesnar) know each other. He said that he just wanted McMahon to keep in mind how much is invested in both athletes. He then tells Lesnar that he has an idea of how he can get his title shot after all.
Eddie Guerrero vs. Tajiri
Guerrero makes his way to the ring driving one of his precious vehicles.
He has trouble opening the hood, so he goes to the back to see what's the matter. When he opens the trunk, Tajiri is waiting for him, and spews the green mist to the face. Tajiri proceeds with kicks before the match starts, as he's all over his opponent. Backstage assistents try to flush the infection out of Guerrero's eyes. Eddie says that he can't wrestle because he can't see. The referee tranfers a message to the ring announcer warning Guerrero to wrestle or forfeit the title.
The match starts, hip kicks to Guerrero's side, a quick cover almost a 3 count. Tajiri is in control as he chokes out his opponent. Guerrero then gains control with a poke to the eyes, as he then gains his vision isolating his opponent in the corner. But not for long as Tajiri turns his opponent upside down, followed by a base ball slide to the face. Another quick cover, a 2 count. Guerrero pulls the trunks forcing his opponent in the turnbuckle, then tosses his opponent outside. Guerrero continues the assault on the outside with a double axe handle. Guerrero will do anything to keep the title, rolling his opponent back in the ring. But Tajiri slides back out trying to buy himself some time. Both men back in, Tajiri with a kick, Guerrero with some chops, back and fourth motion. Guerrero tumbles on top of his opponent and goes for the three count, only gets two. Rear chin lock by Guerrero, continues the pressure. Guerrero then is feeling froggy, but is caught on the top rope by his opponent with a kick, and then a superplex. Both men are down.
Guerrero is surprisingly up first, reversal by Tajiri followed by a trememdous monkey flip. Creating an opening foir himself, Tajiri slams his opponent in the ring steps outside. Tajiri builds confidence as the match rolls along, slapping his opponent across the face, followed by a superkick to the face. Into the cover, almost a three count. Eddie still has some fight in him as he fights back with right hands. Tajiri hits a handspring elbow, building more momentum with a tornado ddt. But it takes it's toll on both nen as they crash to the canvas. Tajiri rolls over for the count, but only gets a two. Tajiri hits a kick to the face, 1,2, almost three... so close. Guerrero is back in control, hitting numerous supplex's on his opponent. He goes for it again, Tajiri close to the ropes somehow Tajiri locks on the tarantula. Once released from the illegal hold, behind the refs back, Guerrero hits a low blow on his opponent. Tajiri attemps to spew the mist again, but he inadvertantly hits the ref. As the ref tries to rub his eyes out, Guerrero hits his opponent with The United States Championship belt. Knocking him out cold. He gives the ref Tazz's water bottle is help rinse his eyes out. A frog Splash from the top rope, and Guerrero wins with a three count.
Shannon Moore w/ Matt Hardy vs. Zach Gowen
A Japanese arm drag, a drop kick by Zach Gowen right from the start. Shannon Moore regroups, he gives himself just enough time to hit a northern light suplex on Gowen. Quickly into the cover, barely a 1 count. Gowen into the ropes, he's tripped by Hardy on the outside. Beautiful swinging neck breaker by Moore, almost a three count. Gowen goes to work with one leg kicks, and then a heel kick. Goes for the cover, Moore just gets his shoulder up. Gowen goes for a moonsault off the top.
He connects, a split second away from a three count. A spinning neck breaker on Moore, Hardy goes for a clothesline on the apron, but Gowen takes out Hardy with a kick. This allows Moore enough time to roll up Zach for the three count.
After the match, Matt Hardy who is infuriated and beats on Zach Gowen from behind.
Hardy hits a side effect, followed by The Twist Of Fate. A very well fought match for Gowen, in the future I would love to see Hardy and Gowen go at it.
John Cena vs. Orlando Jordan
Before the match, John Cena feels the need to let the people know what's up. He says that he didn't fail the test at Vengeance because The Undertaker is the one who was left a bloody mess. And he proceeds to tell everyone how he take Orlando Jordan lightly.
Jordan enters the ring with huge boxing like punches, but it pisses Cena off as he goes to work on Orlando Jordan, rights and lefts, and then hangs him up on the ropes. He proceeds to go after the rib cage of his opponent, very methodical. Jordan tries to fight back, but to no avail. Jordan tries to roll up Cena, but Cena holds onto the ropes and chokes Jordan with his other hand no doubt sending a message to The Undertaker. He then covers his opponent, but only gets a two count. Cena corners his opponent, but Jordan fights back standing up to Cena. But Cena's assault is just too viciuous, he quickly hits Jordan with an FU, followed by a three count.
Nidia and Jamie Noble get out of the shower. Jamie says that he apologises for the wait, he and Nidia just got carried away.
Jamie Noble then makes a surprising proposal to Torrie Wilson, he suggests a threesome tonight! He says "Just when you thought this night couldn't get any better." Torrie is petrified. Suddenly a knock on the door, it's Billy Gunn. He and Torrie embrace. Noble swears he hasn't touched Torrie yet, he tells Gunn to back off. Gunn asks Torrie if she is okay and she replies yes. Then Nidia and Noble start going at it again in the background. Gunn and Torrie look on in amazement.
Backstage, Brock Lesnar comes into Vince McMahon's office. Lesnar says: "Hey Vince. So you want me to earn my way, my rematch. How's this for earning, remember two weeks ago when I challenged you to a match? So how about next week, I earn my title shot by beating your ass?
Vince Replies: "Oh I get it now, you think you can intimidate me. I'll take that rematch into consideration, as far as you and me next week, you're on." He then reminds Brock not to turn his back on his friend Angle tonight.
Backstage, All four people Billy Gunn, Torrie Wilson, Nidia and Jamie Noble) are all in bed together, laughing as if they all just had a foursome.
There's not much left to say, but I think Tazz said it best with "Sometimes a picture is worth a thouand words." I just question if that bed was really large enough to fit all four people, they must have been very careful during their indoor extra curricular activities.
Sable comes to the ring, She says: "Now I'm not one to say I told you so, but this time I have to. I told you I would best Stephanie McMahon. She then says that Steph thought she had a lot to prove, but the only thing she proved is that she's just a little PUSSY cat. She then show's footage of Vengeance, showing Sable picking up the victory thanks to A-Train's interference. She then said that it helps to have friends in high places, as she thanks Vince, and she'll be seeing him later. She then introduces one half of the team Kurt Angle and Brock Lesnar will be facing tonight, A-Train! He makes his way to the ring. Then The Big Show's music hits as he enters the ring.
Kurt Angle & Brock Lesnar vs. A-Train & Big Show
The bell rings, A-Train starts things off with Angle. A-Train's power forces Angle into the courner, not once but twice, dominatng in the early going.
A shoulder block by A-train, followed by an avalanch in the corner. He goes for another, but Angle moves out of the way, and locks on The Ankle lock Submission, but it's too early to make his opponent tap. Lesnar is tagged in, but A-Train quickly goes after Lesnar with his sheer strength, but Lesnar counters with a powerslam, and a two count. Angle tagged back in, A-train attacks with a huge back breaker. Angle's up, he battles back, rights and lefts. But The Big Show gives Angle a big boot from the apron, followed by a bicycle kick by A-Train, a two count. Big Show tagged in, he tosses Angle around like a baby, followed by a leg drop, almost a three count.
Angle isolated in the corner, a huge right hand by Show. Angle battles back with right hands, has his opponent reeling, but not for long. Show hits a side walk slam, and gets a near three count. A-Train tagged in, he chokes Angle in the corner driving his boot into his throat. Full power body slam, a big splash, almost a three count. Angle counters a powerbomb attempt, and hits the Angle Slam on his opponent. Lesnar tagged in, belly to belly. Another one. Goes for the F5 but is stopped with a big boot by The Big Show. With enough distraction by Angle, Lesnar's F5 connects on The Big Show, Lesnaris staggering still feeling the effects of Show's big boot, he inadvertantly falls into Angle tagging him, Angle comes in and pins The Big Show.
After the match, both men (Lesnar and Angle) argue over who should have covered their opponent. Lesnar in a rage picks up Angle and hits an F5 on his friend. Vince McMahon then comes out and says he accepts Lesnar's challenge for next week but it will come with a stipulation.
Vince says the match will be in a 15 foot high Steel Cage.
And just one other thing, the special guest ref will be Lesnar's friend Kurt Angle.
oh well..and Chris Benoit facing Doink the Clown! LMAO that was funny!..
