Just six days before WrestleMania X8, the March 11 episode of RAW emanated live from Detroit in front of a sold-out crowd of 16,167 at the Joe Louis Arena!
The crowd rose to their feet for the opening match, a six-man contest pitting Rob Van Dam and the Hardy Boyz against Intercontinental Champion William Regal and the Dudley Boyz. As the match began, J.R. announced that there would be a four-team elimination match for the Tag Team Championship this Sunday at WrestleMania, with the champions Billy & Chuck defending against the Dudleys, the Hardys and the APA.
Before the opening bell even rang, RVD leapt from the inside of the ring over the top rope, splashing onto the IC Champion. D-Von had soon reached under the ring for a table, but Jeff Hardy kicked it into his face! Soon all six superstars were in the ring, and the Dudleys hit 3-D on Jeff. But Matt nailed the Twist of Fate on D-Von, and soon tagged in RVD. RVD downed Regal with a roundhouse kick, and then hit a huge Five-Star Frog Splash on the IC Champion, then pinning him for the win!
J.R. mentioned that an emergency board meeting was going on at World Wrestling Federation headquarters in Stamford, Conn. Footage of that meeting was then shown, with Vince McMahon and Ric Flair being seen with the entire board of directors of WWFE, including Linda McMahon. Mr. McMahon said the company was in a state of emergency because of Ric Flair.
Vince said that since Flair acquired his ownership of the company, the company had been a ship without a rudder. Vince said that his proven leadership wanted to take the ship in one direction, and Flair wanted to take it in another. Vince asked the board to do the right thing -- to choose which direction the company would go in, and who would lead the company. Vince said he intended to prove tonight that Flair is not in the right emotional state of mind to lead the company, and he asked for a unanimous vote that one of them must lead the company -- either Flair or Vince McMahon must have absolute authority and power.
Your Olympic hero and mine, Kurt Angle, headed to the ring to a chorus of boos. J.R. announced that Kane was not scheduled to be at RAW due to the vicious attack the Big Red Machine suffered at Angle's hands last Thursday on SmackDown! Kurt said he wanted to take the time to talk about something the people of Detroit were very familiar with -- crime. He said he wasn't talking about carjacking or mugging, but instead about something even more important -- robbery.
Angle said he was robbed of his WrestleMania title shot. He said that two weeks ago on RAW, he had Chris Jericho right where he wanted him, until that "burnt moron" Kane cost him the match.
Angle asked Kane who the hell he thought he was. Angle said Kane had experienced first-hand last week on SmackDown! how he treats people who cost him title shots. Angle said that Kane might be the Big Red Machine, but he was the Big Red, White and Blue Machine! Angle said that he had spoken to Mr. McMahon earlier in the day, and he would be facing Kane this Sunday at WrestleMania! He said that at WrestleMania, he would make Kane's childhood burns seem like a paper cut.
Kurt said it wasn't Kane's whole fault he wasn't wrestling for the title at WrestleMania -- he said the other reason was the utter stupidity of the fans! He said every time he walked out, the people chanted, "You suck!" Angle begged someone to tell him how the Federation fans got so stupid.
Suddenly, out walked Booker T. Booker said he was sick and tired of Angle running off at the mouth, telling the people they were stupid. He said Kurt was pissing him off. Booker said the people in the arena weren't stupid -- they were beyond stupid, and brain dead! Booker said the fans were the reason he lost his Japanese shampoo commercial! He said he was mad because this was supposed to be his first WrestleMania, and he didn't even have an opponent! Angle said, "You're damn skippy, homey!"
As Angle and Booker talked, Edge walked out to the stage. Edge said he couldn't believe Booker was complaining about not having a title shot at WrestleMania; he said he already had a title -- the dumbest man in the company! Booker then made fun of Edge for being the first one voted off Weakest Link last night.
Edge responded by saying that he got one question wrong, and asked how Booker did on Weakest Link! Booker said he didn't remember, and Edge refreshed his memory by playing footage from the show, of Booker getting numerous questions wrong!
Edge said he found it strange that someone with the word "Book" in his name had apparently never read one. Edge said Booker may not have a title shot at WrestleMania, but if he wanted an opponent, he was looking at one. Booker accepted Edge's challenge. Angle said it was "Krispy Kreme with no caffeine." Edge said that Kurt wasn't red, white and blue -- he was just really white! Edge said Kurt wasn't cool, but Angle said "cool" was his middle name! Angle then did the spinerooni -- or at least, he tried to!
Edge said it was the first-ever "dorkerooni!"
Angle asked if Edge was jealous. He said he knew Booker could beat Edge at WrestleMania, but suggested they start tonight. Kurt suggested a tag match, with he and Booker against Edge and a partner of Edge's choice. Edge said, "Oui, oui," and said that even though Kane wasn't around, he would get a partner to face Angle and Booker. He then asked to hear Angle's music, so Detroit could practice saying, "You suck!"
Stephanie McMahon was talking to her and Triple H's dog, Lucy, backstage, saying it was the ugliest thing she had ever seen. Stephanie said the dog would be spending the rest of his life in a cage. She said she hated the dog. Triple H walked into the locker room, pushed Stephanie aside, and took the dog into his arms.
The Game said they had done some horrible stuff to each other, but thanks for the dog. Stephanie said Lucy wasn't his dog anymore. She had a court order making Lucy hers, after telling a judge that Triple H beat his dog and didn't feed her. She asked who was the bitch now. Triple H warned Stephanie not to screw with his dog, and challenged her to try him. He threw the dog on Stephanie, and said, "She does stink ... doesn't she, Lucy?"
Stephanie said Triple H was just jealous because Triple H wasn't the Undisputed Champion -- but she would introduce Lucy to a champion who hated dogs more than she does.
Next up, Rikishi went one-on-one with Test. Test went for the big kick, but the Phat Man ducked and hit Test with a kick of his own, followed by a Samoan drop. Rikishi then hit a sit-down splash and an avalanche, and set Test up for the Stink Face -- but Mr. Perfect ran down and got up on the ring apron. Rikishi dragged Perfect into the ring and then knocked him out, only to turn around and get nailed by a big boot to the face. Test then pinned Rikishi for the win.
Backstage, Stephanie screamed for Lucy to get off the sofa. Into the locker room walked Y2J, who was disgusted by Lucy. Stephanie screamed for Jericho to get the dog off the couch, which he did. Stephanie said it was worth it, because of seeing the look on The Game's face. Suddenly, a smell filled the locker room, and it turned out the dog had pooped all over the floor! Stephanie screamed for Jericho to take the dog for a walk, and to get someone to clean up the mess.
Outside the arena, Y2J took Lucy for a walk in the freezing cold. Y2J questioned why a living legend had to take Lucy for a walk. Y2J tied Lucy's leash to the door handle of a limo and left her out in the freezing cold.
In catering, DDP was talking to a stagehand, and was approached by a smiling Christian, who said positivity just wasn't working for him. The two practiced smiling. They were then approached by Billy & Chuck, who said they shouldn't be smiling at each other. Billy called the men losers, and Christian said he wasn't a loser, and would prove it. Christian said he couldn't think of a better opponent than Billy, who he called "precious." Billy said he would see Christian in the ring, and Chuck jokingly asked if Christian would throw a tantrum if he lost. DDP said he knew Christian would win tonight, and that's a good thing.
Back at the board meeting at WWFE, Vince said that as the board members deliberated, they should keep in mind how Ric Flair punched a fan last Thursday on SmackDown! and was subsequently arrested. The board member murmured to each other as Vince stared Flair down.
Hardcore Champion Goldust defended against Al Snow. Prior to the bout, Goldust brought a number of hardcore toys into the ring, including a golden chair and a golden garbage can. Goldust soon went for the Golden Globes, but Al avoided contact and hit Goldust with a golden fire extinguisher, and then slammed him onto a golden trashcan. Al then pinned Goldust to win the Hardcore Championship!
