RAW Results January 5th:
The show opened up with a shot of Eric Bischoff and The Coach backstage and Eric Bischoff was telling Coach that he doesn't know what he's going to do with the return of Austin under his own terms and conditions. It's going to be worse now than it was then. Stone Cold Steve Austin has actually appointed himself the sheriff of RAW. Coach asked Eric if what he's saying is that it's going to be the Stone Cold law? Eric said that's exactly what he's saying and Mark Henry and Theodore Long walked into the room. Eric said that this isn't a good time, but they refused to leave. Mark Henry said that he wants his Survivor Series favor and he wants it tonight. What he wants is for Theodore Long to be the GM of RAW for one night and he can show the world what a difference a black man can make. Eric asked Theodore if he's out of his mind? Stone Cold is running around calling himself the sheriff, but Eric took a moment to think about it and he told Theodore Long that he'll do it and Eric will get his stuff and leave. Theodore said that he doesn't sweat Austin because he's got the World's Strongest Man by his side and Johnny Cochran on speed dial, believe dat!
The fireworks went off in the arena and Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler kicked it off on commentary, welcoming us to the first RAW of 2004 and the World Tag Team Titles are on the line when Ric Flair and Batista defend against the Dudley Boyz, plus, the Women's Title will be on the line!
Theodore Long's music hit in the arena and he made his way out to the ring as the General Manager for tonight and he took the mic and said that tonight, he is in charge now you betta believe dat. He hears everyone booing, but he wants everyone to know that they're not booing him, they're booing because they can't accept the fact that a black man has the power. A lot of people here in Memphis saying that he isn't talking to them because they're not racist. Well you see, that's typical because one thing he does know is that every white man from New York City from Memphis would like to say that he's not a racist, but what Theodore does know is that he is a racist. Understand this, Memphis has a black mayor, but he isn't really a black man because if he was, this city wouldn't be filled with illiteracy, poverty and crime! Jerry Lawler stood up and he told Theodore that he can be in charge if he wants to be but Memphis is his hometown and he's proud of it and he isn't going to listen to Theodore Long run it down. Jerry Lawler got out of his seat and headed to the ring and Theodore called Jerry a white man who thinks he's a king. He's not a king to Theodore, he's just another cracka with a crown. Now Theodore is the new king of Memphis and the best thing for Jerry to do is to start bowing down. Jerry Lawler got in the ring and he exchanged words with Theodore Long and Jerry shoved Theodore and then he turned around and walked into an RKO by Randy Orton! Theodore Long quickly got out of the ring and Randy Orton arrogantly left as the reigning Intercontinental Champion.
Randy Orton and Theodore Long were shown talking backstage and Randy bragged about what he did to Lawler and then he told Theodore Long to wait and see what he has in store for that coward Mick Foley. Mark Henry showed up and Randy asked him what he's looking at? Mark said he's looking at what he wants and that's the Intercontinental Title. Mark told Theodore to make a title match and Randy said that he isn't going to do this because Randy just saved his ass out there. Theodore told Randy that what he did, he did it for himself so tonight, Randy Orton will defend the Intercontinental Title against Mark Henry! Theodore Long and Mark Henry went on their way and they ran into Stone Cold Steve Austin. Austin told Theodore that he has to understand that Austin is the law. Austin heard the match he just made but there might be someone else a little more deserving of that shot and that might be the man that never got his rematch for the Intercontinental Title, Rob Van Dam. Theodore said he's already made the match between Mark Henry and Randy Orton. Austin agreed and he said the law is fair and Sheriff Austin is a fair man and he's listening, so he has a match for him tonight. It's going to be Mark Henry vs. RVD and the winner of that match will meet Randy Orton next week on RAW for the Intercontinental Title. Theodore said that they're going to play it Austin's way tonight but Theodore told Austin not to get in Mark Henry's way anymore tonight. Austin said that he is the law and if he sees fit, he can open up a can of whoop ass on them just like that. Now you believe that. After Austin left, Theodore Long expressed his anger towards Austin at Mark Henry, saying that he's the General Manager and he can't talk to him like that.
The Coach came out to the arena and he brought his own chair out with him and he sat down with Jim Ross to help him out a little bit while The King was in the back. The Coach's chair said "LSU" on it and that's a slap in the face to Jim Ross since LSU defeated JR's favorite team, the Oklahoma Sooners over the weekend. Coach told Ross that he's there to help him out as the color analyst.
Spike Dudley vs. Rene Dupree
La Resistance made their way out to the ring and this is a one on one contest with Rene Dupree facing the returning Spike Dudley.
Rene Dupree and Spike Dudley exchanged words and Spike jumped on Rene and gave him a number of right hands and Rene shoved Spike down to the mat and Spike hopped back up and jumped back on Rene to give him more right hands until Rene shoved Spike right back down to the mat.
Rene Dupree pressed Spike Dudley up over his head but Spike got out of it and countered it into a sunset flip pin for the three count to get the victory!
Bubba and D-Von Dudley came out to the ring and celebrated with Spike as he just defeated Rene Dupree. As Bubba and D-Von held Spike up over their shoulders, Flair and Batista came out and attacked the Dudleys from behind and Evolution dominated Bubba and D-Von until a number of WWE officials made their way out to break up the fight.
With this attack, you gotta wonder how the Dudley Boyz are going to compete for the World Tag Team Titles later tonight!
Chris Jericho was shown backstage and Christian entered the room and Chris asked him what the hell he wanted? Christian said that he came to apologize for the way he acted last week. He doesn't know what's going on with Chris and Trish but it's none of his business. What he does know is that he and Chris were a great tag team but more than that, they were better friends. So all of this crap, Christian is sorry. Chris said what he has to say to that is that he's sorry, too. He's right, they are great friends and a great tag team. They went through TLC matches and last year, they threw Shawn Michaels out of the Royal Rumble. Christian said that he just came from Theodore Long's office and he said that there's a tag team match next with their names on it if he's in. Chris said that he's in and he said that this show needs an injection of vitamin C! A pumped up Chris Jericho and Christian went on their way, saying they're next.
Jerry Lawler's music hit in the arena and he made his way back out to the arena and Coach and Lawler got in an argument and Theodore Long came out and told Lawler that he's the man that's in charge. If Lawler thinks he's going to come out here and stop an innocent black man from doing his job, he's wrong. Theodore told Coach that if he even looks at him the wrong way or threatens him, he'll fire his ass in front of his hometown, now believe dat! Theodore Long left and Coach arrogantly remained by JR's side.
Chris Jericho and Christian vs. The Hurricane and Rosey
Chris Jericho's music hit in the arena and he made his way out to the ring for a tag team contest with Christian against the Hurricane and Rosey. As Jericho made his way out to the ring, Jerry Lawler sat down with Coach and Ross to form a three man announce team for the night.
Rosey started the match off in the ring against Christian and Rosey went to lock it up with Christian but Christian ducked under it and put Rosey in a side headlock. Rosey whipped Christian off the ropes but Christian slid under Rosey and went to kick Rosey in the gut but Rosey caught his foot and knocked Christian down with a clothesline.
Christian and Chris Jericho went for a double team clothesline on Rosey but Rosey rolled under it and came back with a double clothesline of his own to knock Jericho and Christian down to the mat.
Rosey knocked Chris Jericho to the outside of the ring and the Hurricane climbed to the top rope and launched himself onto Chris Jericho on the outside of the ring.
In the ring, Rosey gave Christian a power slam and then a pin for a two count as Christian got his foot on the rope.
Rosey went for a shoulder block on Christian in the corner but Chris Jericho pulled Christian out of the way and then slammed Rosey's head into the ring post and then Christian planted Rosey with a reverse DDT and then pinned him to get the three count.
Steven Richards vs. Test
Steven Richards made his way out to the ring along with Victoria and this is a one on one match with Steven Richards against Test in a rematch from last night's edition of Sunday Night Heat.
Test got in the ring and said something to Victoria and then he knocked Steven down with a hard right hand. Test then chased Victoria out of the ring and up the ramp. Test got back in the ring and grabbed Richards but Richards fired back on Test with a number of right hands as Victoria returned to ringside.
Steven Richards rolled up Test and pinned him but only got a two count. Richards then gave Test a face buster and then he went for the super kick but Test blocked it and went for the pump handle slam but Victoria hopped up to the ring apron to distract Test. Steven then rolled Test up but only got a two count.
Test gave Steven a full nelson slam and then he grabbed Victoria's hand and pulled on it and then he went back to work on Steven. Test went for the pump handle slam but Steven got out of it and then Test gave Steven an elbow to the head.
Test went for the boot on Victoria but she hopped down from the ring apron and then Steven rolled Test up for the three count!
Test got back up and gave Victoria the big boot as she celebrated with Steven. Steven then mounted Test and gave him a number of right hands and knocked him out of the ring and jumped on him with a dive through the ropes. Steven continued to give Test right hands as WWE officials came out in an attempt to break it up. Test finally left and Steven got in the ring and attended to Victoria, who he refers to as "Flower."
Stone Cold Steve Austin's music hit in the arena and he made his way out to the ring as the "law" of RAW! Austin said that he said last week there's a new sheriff in town and there is. His name is Sheriff Stone Cold Steve Austin and he also said last week that he thought Shawn Michaels deserved a rematch. So talking about that rematch, at the Royal Rumble, it will be...
Triple H's music hit in the arena and he made his way out to the ring to interrupt the Sheriff of RAW. Triple H asked Austin if he's lost his mind? Sheriff Austin. Apparently the ads are true, alcohol does kill brain cells because Austin has lost it. Triple H laughed at Stone Cold, comparing him to Deputy Dog, Barney Fife and Rosco. Is he going to come out here next week with dogs with big ears named Flash? Triple H asked Austin to do that laugh? Austin gave Triple H the finger and then Triple H said apparently the super kick from Shawn Michaels last week was a lot more devastating than he thought because he woke up last week and all the sudden he was in Mayberry. Is he going to come out here next week with Goober and Floyd and start making some rules? Triple H took a look at Austin's badge and he asked him if he's wearing a badge? In all seriousness, did that come with a little plastic belt with some cap guns in it and a little plastic hat because he had that same set as a kid. He used to love that, playing cops and robbers. It was a blast. Austin asked Triple H if he's through wasting his time? Austin said what this badge means is yes, he is the sheriff and he will uphold the law anyway he sees fit. If he sees fit to stun Triple H's ass for flapping his gums, then he will. If he sees fit to strip Triple H of that title, then he will. Hell, if he sees fit to take a steamy, smelly, creamy crap on those fancy goochie shoes of Triple H's, then he will because as the sheriff, he will uphold the law and that's Stone Cold's law and he will see fit to make Triple H's life a living hell. Now if Triple H will allow him to finish what he was saying, he will. Based on the match last week, Shawn Michaels deserves a rematch because from what he saw, Shawn Michaels had Triple H pinned and beat. To make it real simple, in Austin's opinion and he is somewhat of an expert, Shawn Michaels whipped Triple H's ass. Austin will tell him right now, he can't wait to see a man whip Triple H's ass again. Triple H told Austin that before he gets himself all carried away making his rematches, let's take a look at Triple H's track record. He's beaten everybody they put in his path and when it came to Shawn Michaels, he put his World Title on the line. He walked in as the World Champion and walked out with the title so as far as he's concerned, the thing with Michaels is a dead issue. What's it going to take to get it into Austin's thick redneck head of his, what does he have to do to prove that he is the greatest wrestler alive today? HBK's music hit in the arena and he made his way out to the ring.
Shawn took the mic and the fans heavily chanted "HBK, HBK" and Shawn said that Triple H proved that he was the greatest but personally, Shawn Michaels wants to see him prove it just one more time.
Austin said he's going to get a chance at the Royal Rumble because it will be Triple H defending his World Title against HBK, Shawn Michaels and that's the bottom line because Stone Cold said so. Austin left and went up the ramp and said that there is one thing he forgot to mention. Shawn's rematch at the Royal Rumble with Triple H won't be just a regular Championship match. This will be a Last Man Standing Match! Shawn Michaels got a smile on his face and Triple H kicked Michaels in the gut and planted him with the Pedigree and the fans heavily booed Triple H.